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A publication wants to print this letter and wants to know if you approve of it?

 

Do you approve of the following?

I recommend to consider that a couple getting married in their early twenties can expect to spend sixty years together, which is about five hundred thousand hours, and therefore should consider spending at least fifty hours getting to know their potential spouse before marrying them. Fifty hours is the equivalent of ten five hour dates and would only be one ten-thousandth of the time that they can expect to spend together. I think that it is obviously very unwise to marry someone without spending at least fifty hours getting to know them, and I recommend to go on at least ten five hour dates before marrying someone.

 

Answer:

I don’t approve. Aside of the Hashkafah issues, there are some technical flaws in the logic here.

Couples don’t spend 24 hours a day together. That reduces your amount of hours significantly.

There is also no solid evidence that getting to someone better, or for more time before marriage has bearing on the success rate of the marriage. Even if it does has bearing, as some argue, it’s obvious that serious commitment and shared goals are the ultimate influences on the durability of the marriage.

It should be noted that in many other circles they hardly see each other before marriage and they have a high success rate of lasting marriages. Historically, our ancestors who hardly dated also have a history of longer-lasting marriages.

 

 

#4543


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