Kaddish for a Relative

 

Question:

My first cousin recently passed away. I am aware that I have no obligation to say Kaddish for him, but I have the question whether my saying Kaddish would accomplish more than paying someone else to do it. One Rabbi told me that although he never saw anything written on the matter, he would think that my being a close relative would mean that I would say it with more feeling. A different Rabbi shared his opinion that it would be better if I did not say Kaddish.

If I am not accomplishing anything more than a stranger, then I do not think I wish to continue. I have another few days until the shloshim is finished. It is a burden on me, I have already hired an organization who does this. Certainly when I am davening with the minyan there are times that I race to be able to say the kaddish when I would otherwise spend more time on parts of the davening. What is your opinion on this?

 

Answer:

There is an advantage of having someone who is a close relative saying kaddish. If however the money used to hire someone to say will come from the inheritance of the deceased that would be preferable.

 

Sources:

קרוב משפחה – שנפשו עליו תאבל, וע״ד מש״כ באלף המגן דיני קדיש ד, יג במעלת אמירת האב על האח כשלא הניח בנים. ואף שעיקר המעלה בקרוב שחייב להתאבל – וראה גם שו״ת זרע אמת א, קמח – מ״מ נהגו שגם באינו מתאבל אומר. ושם גופא תולה בכשר לעשות או לא. ובכ״מ כשאין אב ובן שיאמר אח או קרוב. וראה גם אג״ק יב ע׳ קצו.

לשכור מעזבון הנפטר – שו״ת שרה״מ ב, לא.

 

 

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