How to properly reward children for their good behavior?



When rewarding good behavior, Is it at all oisgehalten to choose certain missions that are mandatory, meaning if they miss those mandatory ones, they will not get rewarded for the other (non-mandatory) missions? I know that we always tell people on mivtzoim “even though you just ate non-Kosher it’s irrelevant whether or not to put on tefillin now”.

My question is when it comes to chinuch does that same rule apply?



You may choose whichever system works for you or for the purpose you’re trying to achieve. Furthermore, there might be a particular advantage in using the system that you have outlined. A reward system by nature indicates that what the child is doing is something extra, not required. When you start rewarding for behaviors which are expected from the children it subtly implies that these behaviors are not obligatory behaviors. For example, we don’t normally reward children for keeping Shabbos. If we have a reward system for observing Tznius, we are implying that tznius is an extra unnecessary commitment.