Are men allowed to look at women? (Not talking about family of course) and in what setting are men allowed to look at women? 

 

The Torah says, “…and you shall not stray after your eyes…”. The simple meaning of this prohibition is staring at a woman (for her beauty) who is Ervah (forbidden to marry, for example a Niddah who is not one’s wife or a different woman one is forbidden to marry). Rabbinically it is forbidden to stare even at an unmarried non-Niddah woman, this is derived from the verse in Iyov 31:1, “I made a covenant with my eyes, and why should I gaze upon a virgin?”.

The Beis Shmuel 21:2 writes that to think of the beauty of such a woman, however, is Biblically forbidden.

The Shulchan Aruch Even Haezer 21:1 rules “One may not stare at a woman’s beauty… it is similarly forbidden to stare at colored clothes of a woman he knows even when she is not wearing them, lest it might bring him to have thoughts about her…”

Many authorities maintain that one may look – but not gaze – at a woman while talking to her. However, one may not talk with her when on non-necessary matters. [1]

The Pirkei Avos 1:5 also warns one should not have excessive talk with a woman for by doing so it causes negative things to the man.

Similarly one may look at a non-married woman to see if he would want to marry her, the Shulchan Aruch Even Haezer 21:3 even endorses this, however, adds that it is forbidden to look at her in a way of Z’nus (promiscuity). This is derived from the verse in Iyov 31:1, “I made a covenant with my eyes, and why should I gaze upon a virgin?”

 

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[1] Sefer Chassidim 1000. See however Kaf HaChayim (Orach Chayim 75:7) and Igros Moshe (Orach Chayim 1:40).

 

 

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