Article: When may an Avel take a break?

It is obligatory for aveilim (mourners [within the first seven days]) to sit on very low chairs or on the floor, but they do not have to be sitting the entire time and they may intermittently stand or walk around. However, when menachamim (those who come to offer comfort) are present, the avel should remain seated.

The menachamim should likewise ideally be sitting during nichum aveilim. According to the strict halachah they should sit on a low stool, unless the avel is moichel (forgiving [of his honor]) and indicates permission for the visitors to sit on regular chairs. However, since sitting on a low chair is only for the honor of the avel, the assumption is that the avel is moichel them for sitting on seats of regular height—and this is the general custom today. (Some have the custom that at the stage of comforting specifically, i.e. when reciting the traditional hamakom yenachem blessing, the comforter stands. Neither sitting nor standing in such circumstances is an absolute requirement.)

If the avel wishes to stand up or walk out of the room, poskim say that express mechilah should be asked from the menachamim. A constant flow of visitors and using a low chair or the floor as seating for hours on end can, after all, be strenuous. It is reasonable for the avel to stretch their legs, or even leave the room for a bit. Yet, it is still preferable that before taking a break, the avel ask the visitors if they don’t mind.

Sources:

בד״כ על שניהם לישב, ראה שו״ע יו״ד שפז ובנו״כ שם. לבוש שם. לקט יושר יו״ד ע׳ צא. אמנם, איכא גם ניחום בעמידה כגון כשעומדים בשורה. וראה אמרי אמת לקוטים ע׳ צו. שו״ת אג״מ ח, כ, כא. מנחת אשר וייס א, סג.

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