Permitted Questions to Ask on a Date

Question:

With regards to dating, what is forbidden to say because of the איסור שאילת שלום לאשה? Such as ‘how are you doing,’ ‘how was Shabbos,’ Or just saying ‘hello’.

What are the כללים in this? And are there exceptions for dating?

Answer:

In general, although it is preferable to be stringent when practical, one may be courteous and use standard, everyday greetings that do not convey affection or closeness.

With regard to dating specifically, there is greater room for leniency, since the woman is unmarried and one’s intentions are lesheim shamayim.

Sources:

ראה ערוך השלחן אהע״ז סי׳ כא סעי׳ ח; שו״ת מהר״ם שיק אהע״ז סי׳ נג; טהרת ישראל אהע״ז סי׳ כא סעי׳ ו; שו״ת מנחת יצחק ח״ח סי׳ קכו; שו״ת בצל החכמה ח״ה סי׳ מח; אגרות משה ח״ט אהע״ז סי׳ טז.

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