Chosson entering the wedding hall from the women’s side

Question:

In A Guide To Chabad Weddings page 5 (of the publication) it mentions that at the first dance the chosson should go straight to the men’s side.

Is there any inyan, from a hashkafic or halachic perspective to do so?

Is it shayach to give a hesber or sources that I would be able to tell the kallah in a way that she could understand, because she has seen by a lot of her friends that the chosson came in with them in the woman’s side. She wants to do the right thing but she feels this is a חומרא בלא טעם?

I’m not referring to going under the arch together.

Answer:

• A man should not walk between two women.
• Men do not belong in the women’s section. Having the chosson enter the women’s section weakens the clear boundary between the men’s and women’s areas.
• The chosson and kallah walking together in the section designated for women is contrary to the standards of tznius.
• This was never the practice in our circles. Introducing new practices and changing established Jewish customs is inappropriate.
• Introducing a practice that is recognizable as a non-Jewish wedding convention raises concerns of adopting outside customs, and possibly even falls under the concern of חוקות הגויים.
• Importing a symbol from secular wedding culture can subtly introduce a different understanding of marriage – one shaped by modern Western ideals rather than by Torah concepts.
• A practice borrowed from a culture where the groom “presents” or “claims” the bride carries assumptions that do not necessarily align with traditional Torah symbolism or with the dignity of the kallah.
• Most importantly, the guide was reviewed and approved by many Chabad Rabbonim, and it should therefore be followed regardless of the particular reasoning behind the practice.

The underlying point is that a wedding is not merely a private celebration; it is a public expression of Torah values. The way a Jewish wedding is conducted communicates a message about the sanctity of marriage and the standards of Jewish modesty. The minhagim of Jewish weddings developed over generations and carry meaning. Even when the reason for a practice is not fully known, changing established forms requires great care. A Jewish wedding should reflect the uniqueness of Jewish marriage, not simply adopt the symbols and aesthetics of the surrounding culture. The celebration should highlight the kedushah of the union rather than mirror contemporary wedding trends. The dignity of the kallah is not enhanced by bringing her into a public setting with the chosson; rather, true kavod for the kallah is expressed through preserving the special dignity and tznius that Torah assigns to a Jewish woman. The fact that a practice may appear innocent or meaningful does not by itself make it appropriate to introduce. Jewish customs are guided not only by personal symbolism, but also by Torah standards, mesorah, and the guidance of Rabbonim. When Rabbonim have established a standard for the community, following that guidance is itself part of maintaining achdus and respect for Torah authority.

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